Two Year Old Darcy

This was an odd blog for me. I was all over the place and was just going to archive it and start over, but worked with it and here it is.

I feel I’m reverting back to the 2 year old Darcy, at least I’m assuming I asked a lot of questions like all the little juniors that I’ve encountered through my adult years. “If the reverting back is the truth maybe I can recapture some of the natural childhood qualities that have dissolved from me over the years - a hope from one of my previous blogs. I digress, back to my topic.” I seem to have so many “Whys?”. For the most part, I think most of my teen-adult life I’ve gone through the motions without asking myself the depthly why’s?

The last decade or so, I’ve felt that the more I learn about myself, the less I know of myself. Which I think is a huge driving force that brought me back to the I Ho Chuan again. I have a strong desire to know if what I’m doing is for the right reason. Am I doing it because of my dysfunctional people pleaser personality - that guy that never knows how to say no? Or is it for the betterment of a greater cause or to truly serve and provide growth to my adult self? Am I doing what I’m doing to fulfill true real time desires or am I serving that poorly shaped little boy? Is it for selfish reasons?

It makes me feel better that I have whys about some tangibles outside of myself, such as forms, weapon usage, hand techniques and sparring? Break it apart, slow it down, then why? does that make better sense? Why am I moving that way? where and what is that strike intended for? what am I blocking? correct vector? Am I grounded? Am I solid and fluid? Why am I putting all this time into this? Why, why, why? The same thing for food I introduce to my body, everything started with a why and how it serves me. How I workout has changed because of the why and inevitable evolution of aging. 

The whys and research get me wondering about my madness to know. There seems to have been so much notable change in me and my life over the past 10+ years. Maybe I felt relatively the same health-wise and invincible for so many years and there weren’t many internal questions and then wham! 

I’ve come up with - remaining ignorant is just not where I want to be and don’t want to be average. If it takes more work to stay mentally and physically strong, then I must learn the answers to the “whys?” and get’er done. Questioning myself is a good thing!

February 25, 2025 (day 28)

Acts of Kindness recorded - 56, 

Push-ups - 4350, 

Sit-ups and or equivalents - 4850, 

Kilometres (intentional extra mileage) - 181.1,

Meditation/ inversion table  (min.) - 76,

Stretching/ rolling (min.) - 129, 

Sparring/ grappling minutes - 43,

# of forms re-familiarized - 6,

Form reps - 52, 

Form time (min.) - 174,

“Mastery” recite (min.) - 63,

Blogs - 6